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Thursday, November 14, 2013

What I'm NOT Thankful for in November

This.



Is the bane of my existence.

Husband is participating in "No-shave November," though he's not growing this face demon for the sake of raising awareness for testicular cancer. He's growing it because he thinks it's funny when I cry.

It's like kissing a barb-wired wrapped cactus that's been rolled in glass.

And it's not just my poor face getting a beating, here. It's everything. He kisses the baby belly, he kisses a shoulder, he kisses anything, and I can feel the beard-briars piercing through my clothes and into my very soul.

BOO.

But what can I do? How does one abstain from this glorious specimen of manhood?


I know, I know, when it all grows out it's much softer. But not the softest. And by the time it gets to that point November will be over and I'll have my helookslikehesseventeen face back. :D /slightlypedofile-ish /hecanonlygrow60%beardanyway


Any men participating in No-shave November or want to rant about their beards anyway? 


14 comments:

  1. The day I grew my beard was the day I went from a weak, squirmy worm boy to an amazing, testosterone-fueled man-hunk. Back before then I could hardly lift a twig, but now I'm suplexing great white sharks while riding BMX bikes off the side of the Hoover Dam. Hourly.
    So yeah, beards are great, and it's hardly fair that you get to have a huge other person inside of you for nine months while Jordan can't have some extra hair follicles on his face for one month.
    And his beard actually looks good based on that photo, so he gets mad props.
    Finally, totally relevant: http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=853

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  2. Sorry. My husband has had a beard for years. I've gotten used to it.

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  3. I definitely have the largest beard out of the junior class at my high school. My hair is rather soft though.

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  4. I feel your pain!!! Literally! My husband is doing it too. But he doesn't do the 'stache, just the beard, so he's looking slightly Amish. And his beard grows fast, so he's got quite the substantial bristle going on. Owie!

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  5. I like it when my man grows his stache-less goatee. Alas,military duties and school at BYU keep him clean shaven

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  6. I dislike facial hair on my husband as well (unless its for a specific purpose, wherein I endure lol). But really, since Lorin has the dutch neck-beard thing when he lets it grow out, its not good looking at all, and its scratchy like sandpaper >< Thankfully he doesn't really care for keeping a beard around either though ^^

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  7. Okay, this made me laugh. (As did Nathan's comment. A beard, suddenly turning one into a "man hunk"? Wow. That's pretty awesome. :D) Anyway. You know what I do when Lovemuffin's all prickly and it's driving me nuts? I stop shaving my legs for a couple days and "accidentally" rub them against his torso when he's trying to go to sleep. A few times. Every few minutes. (Ha ha.) Usually, that does the trick. ;)

    Great post... thanks for the laughs, and sorry 'bout the pricklies. :)

    Jessica

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  8. That depends on whether you count having a beard all the time as participating or not.

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  9. Haha, oh my god, a barb-wire wrapped cactus. My husband has to keep clean shaven, but if he has a long weekend or is on leave he lets it grow out. I do miss his facial hair, but the first day or so drive me crazy with the prickles!

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  10. JARRETT IS TOO AND IT DRIVES ME NUTS! His chin stubble is sexy. Every other hair is NOT.

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  11. Boo hubby bearded baby belly kisses!

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  12. LOL!!!!!! I need to subject you to TRUE facial hair. Bwahahaha! My husband doesn't shave in October so he can do something awesome for Halloween. We're talking full beard here--at least an inch or so of growth. In a month. The guy would have to shave twice a day to keep from having scruff. I don't want to hear your grumbling!

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  13. Too funny! :) No beard growing here. Good luck

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